Why I Quit Coaching (And 3 Lessons I’ve Learned)
Just before I went on vacation, I resigned from my coaching position (at my former high school). Sad, but necessary.
A scathing expose on my experience both growing up and coaching in such a (suburban) town would be entirely appropriate here, but I’ll save that for the book.
So why did I leave? Let me put it like this:
Change can be very difficult, and is, at best, slow. Especially if possessing a golf ball sized consciousness (See #3 on my list).
However, before I close the door on that chapter of my coaching career, I would like to give my Vote of Confidence to the current Athletic Director. He’s an honest guy. An upfront guy. His primary concern is the kids. And I respect that.
I just hope he recognizes that, in order triumph over the firmly entrenched status quo, not only will he have to excel in his current position, but he’ll need to be equally as effective in the field of Oncology.
Last week, as I floated down the (45 degree!) Colorado River, I had some time to think about some of the things I’ve learned over the course of my coaching career. And I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve made plenty of mistakes. Nonetheless, the lessons I’ve learned will help you become a better coach, no matter how long you’ve been coaching.
See the eagle over my left shoulder?
#3. Golf still isn’t a sport.
“If you have a golf-ball-sized consciousness, when you read a book, you’ll have a golf-ball-sized understanding; when you look out a window, a golf-ball-sized awareness, when you wake up in the morning, a golf-ball-sized wakefulness; and as you go about your day, a golf-ball-sized inner happiness.
But if you can expand that consciousness, make it grow, then when you read that book, you’ll have more understanding; when you look out, more awareness; when you wake up, more wakefulness, and as you go about your day, more inner happiness.” – David Lynch
Let’s apply this to coaching. Coaches with a golf ball sized consciousness can’t comprehend an approach or school of thought beyond the one they, and those they surround themselves with, possess. They fear new ideas and those that bring them, even if it makes their programs and athletes better. It doesn’t make them bad people. Just bad coaches.
Don’t get mad. Or frustrated. Logic and reason are beyond their current frequency range. The only way to force their evolution is to boil the frogs slowly. What does that mean?
The ‘Boiling Frogs’ principle says that if you put a frog in boiling water, it will jump out. But if you put that frog in cold water that is slowly heated, it won’t perceive the danger and will be cooked in the pot.
Like I said, change doesn’t happen overnight.
But back to my original point: The most revered coaches have a beach ball sized consciousness, regularly investing in and evolving their programs with cutting edge training methods. And, more importantly, providing a rewarding experience for our athletes, independent of on field success.
Think about yourself and the coaches you know. The ones that coach your kids. Take a look with a new set of eyes, at yourself and others, and, pretty quickly, you’ll figure out where on the spectrum they fall. And where you fall. What you choose to do from there is up to you. I recommend filling a pot with cold water.
But don’t start patting yourself on the back because you invest in new resources or go to clinics a few times per year. Compared to some coaches, our beach ball sized consciousness still looks an awful lot like a golf ball.
#2. Stop running a Groundhogs Day Program.
#2. Stop running a Groundhogs Day Program.
#2. Stop running a Groundhogs Day Program.
#2. Stop running a Groundhogs Day Program.
Seeing the same thing over and over again starts to get annoying, doesn’t it?
Reminds me of the classic Bill Murray film ‘Groundhogs Day’ where the main character keeps reliving the same day over and over again. In the movie, however, Bill Murray’s character eventually figures out that if he makes changes to his routine, and keeps track of the results, he starts to get…better results.
Sounds pretty obvious. But I find that too many coaches in too many programs keep running the same program year after year. Same speeches. Same workouts. Same drills. Same glazed over look in the athletes’ eyes. And, in most cases, the same stagnant times and performances by senior year.
Some coaches will tell you, “I’ve been coaching for 15 years.”
No. You’ve coached one year, 15 times in a row.
These coaches usually defend their laziness with, “But we have a successful program.”
Sure you don’t. Problem is, a dual meet record doesn’t make me a good coach or mean I run a good program. Too many coaches kid themselves into believing otherwise. I could give a monkey a stop watch and, after a few years, he’s going to end up with some champions. It’s called The Law of Probability. Every team has athletes with talent who succeed on pure ability. (Take my word for it, I was one of them. To the point that I was a healthy red-shirt as a freshman in college because I lacked the biomotor skill needed to compete effectively at that level.)
There’s a reason I see the same names posting in the blog. The same names repeatedly investing in their kids whenever we run a promotion or launch a new resource. Because as soon as you start investing in your kids by investing in your coaching education, you get addicted to the results. Not just the results on the track or in the field. You’ll get addicted to the way your kids respond to better coaching and training.
You don’t have to overhaul your entire program every season. Pick one area to upgrade (the warm up, the weight room, how you teach speed drills, how to break down running form, progressions for plyometrics, starting blocks, take off mechanics, etc.) and work it into your program.
I turn out State Champions every year. And this year I’m making near universal upgrades to my progressions *and* teaching some young coaches my system at the same time. So just changing your warm up routines or learning some speed drill progressions shouldn’t cause you too much psychological discomfort. Don’t get overwhelmed with all the possibilities.
We coach our athletes to avoid ‘paralysis by analysis’. We need to do the same by only taking on as much as we feel comfortable with. This season, pick *one* thing. And invest in getting better at it. (…and yes, you may actually have to spend some money!)
Your athletes are begging you not to teach the same stuff the same way this year.
I, on the other hand, hope you do the same old crap. Because winning is fun. But abusing people is even *more* fun.
#1. Never Outshine the Master
From ‘The 48 Laws of Power’ by Robert Greene:
Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.
My mentor, Kevin Murphy, a Hall of Famer in my state, had no Ego. He took pride in my success. He encouraged it. He gave me credit for results whether I deserved it or not. He had me call in all of our results to the newspaper and, therefore, get all of the quotes. He is one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. And he spoiled me.
Because I didn’t realize this was the exception to the rule. And it caused me a lot of problems.
In one prior coaching situation, I thought to myself, “I know these coaches attach much of their identity to being the Head Coach of these teams. So I’ll slide in, help the sprinters and jumpers break a bunch of records and win a bunch of titles which will make the team win titles and take home more hardware. The kids will have a better experience than they’ve been having (since they’ve told me for years how frustrating the program is). The Head Coaches get to take all the credit, so they’ll be pretty damn excited about my bringing the program to the next level. And all will be right in the world.”
Ahh. So naïve, I was. In fact, the opposite happened.
You don’t need a Doctorate in Psychology to figure out how it went down. I got such good results so fast and had such a powerful relationship with my kids that I stole peoples’ thunder. And therefore their sense of identity. People started equating me with the track program and that led people with a golf ball sized consciousness to react in a painfully predictable way. Since my name is not Toby, and I have a myriad of coaching options, I decided to leave for greener pastures. Because sometimes you just have to play the Big Time Card. And that is what I did.
So what’s the lesson here? Most people are average. That’s why it’s called average. And the nail that sticks up gets pounded down.
The biggest question I get these days is some variation of “How do I get my coach/kid’s coach/the head coach to change their training methods?”
If you can’t leave to work with more evolved coaches, the answer ultimately depends on just how fragile the ego of the coach you’re dealing with happens to be.
But understanding the 3 lessons contained in this article is the key to doing what is best for your athletes. Because that is the primary goal and purpose of any program. Well, maybe not all of them. But it should be.
Just remember: People feel threatened by other peoples’ success. It’s why we love to see celebrities in scandalous situations. It makes us feel better. It’s why we root for the underdog. Because most people aren’t dominant at what they do. It’s why we hate on rich people. Because most of us aren’t wealthy.
If you’re working with coaches who simply have less knowledge, talent, skill or commitment than you do, boil them slow and never, ever outshine the master.
To your success,
Latif Thomas
